As long as there has been civilization, there have been cats maneuvering around in the background, secretly running things. So irresistible is the feline charm and magnetism that some of history's most powerful and influential figures have spent their lives under their spell (or command, you decide).
According to reports, famous cat people include everyone from Russian Tsarina Catherine the Great, to Mark Twain, Pope John Paul II, and none other than the 16th and 30th presidents of the United States, Abraham Lincoln and Calvin Coolidge, but much to their chagrin, cats are often relegated to the back burner and robbed of their due by their humans. From Socks Clinton to Smurf Village villain Gargamel's trusted sidekick Azrael, some of history's most famous and infamous cats (real and fictional) have gone on to become villains, moguls, legends, and icons in their own right.
3 Cats That Have a Much Better Life than You
From one percent-level riches to epic revenge stories on a global scale, here is an unscientific compilation of a few real and fictional cats that are beating most of us at life.
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Tommaso the Roman Trustafarian and Influencer
Tommaso sees your paycheck to paycheck existence and laughs as he sharpens his well manicured claws with 24K gold emery boards. After a rough start on the mean streets of Rome, Tommaso found his way into the arms of Maria Assunta, who upon her death
bequeathed Tommaso a real estate portfolio valued at a cool $13 million. Rumor has it that he has also inspired some Drake lyrics.
Hello Kitty
This one may seem obvious, but creating a list of baller cats and overlooking Hello Kitty is like talking about rain and overlooking water. Hello Kitty, aka Kitty White, has been living the dream just outside Londontown since 1974 (and yet hasn't aged a day). While modernity has relegated some of her contemporaries to the dustbin of history (Garfield who?), Kitty's game continues to blow up. In addition to the show, the merch, and the legend itself, she also has a string of brick and mortar cafes popping up all over lands as far off and exotic as Southern California.
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Lola the Cat that Got Chucked in the Bin
To be alive and not in a comatose state in 2010 was to have your summer captivated by the plight of Lola, a British kitty who was minding her own business (that we know of), only to be picked up by human villain Mary Bale and tossed into a garbage (or rubbish, as the Brits say) wheelie bin.
Lola may have come to prominence as an initial victim, but revenge was ultimately hers. The crime was caught on video, as 21st century crimes often are, and created an international scandal that ranged from comparisons to Hitler but more evil, to actual calls for the death penalty for the monster. Ultimately, a British court decided to fine Mary
250 pounds sterling because let's face it, the woman's life is pretty much over anyway. Lola, on the other hand, will go down in history as a progenitor of one of the 21st century's biggest phenomenons: the totally not irrational or blood thirsty internet mob. (Just ask the dentist who murdered Cecil the Lion, if you can find him).
The cat industrial complex is bigger than all of us. Share your thoughts in the comments section and let us know how much more you spend on food and toys for your cats than for yourself and family. We won't judge.
